Throughout my life I have been handed many obstacles. Between loosing my daughter to SIDS and my husband committing suicide, my life has been less than perfect to say the least. However, for the past 5 years, I have been facing an even tougher labyrinth. The maze to find myself.
After a collection of failed relationships, I decided to take a little time off for me. I may never finish this marathon, but it has been worth every year, month, week, day, hour, minute, and second of it. It has taken a long time, but I have found a place where I feel at ease. A place where I can stop running, and take look at the beauty around me.After years of floundering for significance, I discovered a world of dreams, desires, friends, and needs. And in this World, there are people that accept you as you are, yes they ask questions, but only because they want to understand the reason for who you have become. They accept your faults as a unique texture of YOU.
I am comfortable in my skin these days and do not question the reason as to why I am happier now than I have been in years. I have friends out side of this world that may never know or understand what the Lifestyle is about. I am sure one day there will come a reason that they must need know. I have no doubt that some will accept my choices, and know for a fact that others will not. When that day comes, I will have more decisions to make and hope that I make the right ones. I have a very close friend in the Lifestyle, and she is having to make those choices at a young age. I only hope that I handle the same challenge with as much grace and guidance as she.
Once upon a time, the idea of dieing gave me a comfortable tingle. I have not had those thoughts in about 5 months. Life is no longer a battle, but a challenge. And I thank all of my new friends for everything they have done for me. You have found a place in my heart and I have found a place where I belong.
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