This last week has been full of pain and insecurities. I found out that my dad has cancer and had to have surgery Monday. He survived the ordeal, but in the meantime alienated me to the point that I still can not talk to him with out getting angry, so I have not talked to him. We are waiting on the lab results to see if they got all of the cancer or if he will have to go trough another surgery. He will have to go through chemo either way.
This week I had the carpet pulled out from under my feet and I am trying to gain footing again. My D/s family found a crack in our foundation and we are currently trying to find a way to seal the cracks. While I am trying to deal with my Dad, not having a job, and now this, I am afraid that I have found myself in a very strange head space. My BFF laughed as said that she remembers this version of me. It is the bitch, as she fondly calls it. Said "it is the Gemini in me" coming out. I kind of like this kick ass version of me, but fear that it will jeopardize my D/s relationship. I hope I am back to normal soon.
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